That seems to be the only logical conclusion to derive from his refusal to let the liberal media know exactly what he was thinking when he stormed out of the house with wife Elin brandishing a nine iron in hot pursuit and drove his shiny black Crackerlack Asscalade over a fire hydrant and into his neighbor's newly-planted pinus niger, sponsored by the National Arbor Day Foundation.
It is bad enough that Tiger and his albino Kenyan wife were not invited to the White House dinner crashed by suspected reality terrorists who recently captured the world of celebrity polo by storm by hobnobbing with the likes of Wild Bill Clinton, John Arizona Raisin McCain, Richard Splurging Virgin Branson, Prince Bonnie Charles of Wales, and the entire Department of former Depends Secretary Ronald McRumsfeld. Now it appears that unscrupulous gossip mongers are attempting to make it appear as if Biraq Hussein Obama snubbed Woods and his wife in favor of the alleged protege of the late Robert Mondavi, Tareq bin Sahadi and his stunning blonde sari-model, the former Michaele Indira Mahatma-Hari.
New York Repugnicant Representative Limp Peter King responded to the latest failure of the Obama administration to understand how much more important appearances are than substance, by calling for a McCarthy-styled hearings to determine which liberal Democrats were responsible for the total collapse of Western civilization in recent weeks, shouting: "We can't show this type of weakness to terrorists, to psychopaths!" and vowing to take the fight to the airwaves where Rush Hindenberg Limbaugh and Glen Henpecked Beck are armed to the teeth with the latest in pharmaceutical brain inhibiters.
Meanwhile, in Florida, snubbed superstar Tiger Woods made no mention of the state dinner where the nation's first openly mixed-race president shook hands with the wife of a man with a suspicious-sounding name in posting a statement to the Ted Stevens system of tubes and wires that some call the InterWebaballoo. Woods took full responsibility for the weekend accident at his home that left two dogs dead and several gray squirrels injured when he lost control of his vehicle during a slow speed chase and struck a fire hydrant before coming to rest against a tree.
"This is an outrage," wrote one anonymous editor, demanding that Woods submit to questioning under oath in the ongoing police investigation to determine what Woods was doing when he left home and got in his car at 2 in the morning. "There are too many unanswered questions," the fuming editor continued. "America deserves answers!"
Woods sidestepped questions about his patriotism in his statement and failed to acknowledge rumors that his wife is not Swedish as she has often claimed but was born in Kenya to an abusive father and an albino-Anglican mother. In recent weeks, tens of thousands of African-Anglo albinos have been fleeing the continent as reporters descend for comment.
Police released a 911 emergency call this morning that indicates that Woods neighbors were concerned about seeing a black man with a white woman in their gated community. "I have black man down in front of my house being beaten by a blond dominatrix. I see him plain as the nose on your face, bozo," the caller shouts, hysterically. "This is not supposed to happen here. We have a black man down."
A contingent of Homeland Security personnel arrived this morning, fueling speculation that Woods has not been truthful about his relationship to a cab driver who may have once met a man who might have ridden on a train in the same subway system as one of the relatives of 9/11 high-jacker, Timothy McVeigh in 1996.