Dr. Faustroll Writes The Wrongs

Most of my readers are not stupid. They can't afford to be in this down economy when everyone who isn't a stupid racist rightwingnut is looking for a repair kit for his or her individual lifeboat on the sea of toxic assets outside the bay of loneliness.

Considering some recent e-mail I've received, I have finally achieved the goal I set for myself when I was arrested in the fourth grade of pathological development for failure to yield to popular or generally held opinions.

I know many people disagree, but my personal opinion is that life is too fucking long. Once you start repeating yourself to yourself, it is time to seriously consider intoxicant assisted suicide. Unfortunately for me, that's not an option. I cannot NOT be inebriated. It is in my DNA. So I must resist arrest and pray for the best.

It turns out that my liver is actually a muscle and not a part of the endocrine system most people have to worry about as they plod toward the grave. I have no pancreas either, and I sold my soul for a hash pipe in Chapel Hill years ago with no untoward effects.

Whenever I stop exercising my liver, it begins to shrivel, like my insignificant penis, but I suspect that a shriveled liver could result in the sudden and complete loss of access to poon tang — which is what made those early NASA missions so exciting — and doesn't particularly get into value judgments involving tool size.

I could have said many of my readers are not stupid if I really wanted to wound. This paragraph refers to a poem by Henri Michaux entitled I Am Writing to You from a Far Off Country. I am writing to you from another universe where I have been dead since 1967. It's comfortable here.

Many years ago when I thought that life mattered and art was important and I had a place in this world, I wrote a poem about an incident that occurred on the White River in Arkansas called I Am Anymore Amazed. I am still amazed and intend to remain amazed until some stupid paranoid angry brain dead NOMF™ motherfucker without a clue or the least bit of interest about life and the beings that appreciate it blows my unrepentant ass away.

You know what I'm really anymore amazed about is list of top EC droppers on this site, most of whom never comment, probably because they suspect that a place as blatantly abusive of the first amendment and derisive of the second as this one must be a front operation for some Bush era covert operation run by the Karl Roving bands of nigra youth or the Insignificant Dick Cheney penis enhancement project designed to make the former first idiot of the NOMF seem less Hitlerian than Biraq Hussein Osama, whose failed economic policies are now more than two years old.

There is no reason to fear stupid people. The reason they are stupid is they want to die, which is the goal that the law of natural selection is currently helping achieve by pointing them out. You don't have to do anything except let them scream and moan and complain about what losers they are for having bet on the wrong horses for several decades. Point at them and laugh. They need the attention.

If Obama has any nads at all, he'll cite this post as an indication that not every citizen of the NOMF is as stupid as the liberal media suggests.

Here are the topic droppers to this site in the past 30 days. They are the real heroes. Visit them. I'm just an asshole who types good.