When I entered in detox in the mid-nineties, I took my laptop to record the process and promptly had it confiscated to keep me "focused on my recovery," which involved having to listen to a bunch of religion-based horse exhaust when what I needed was medical treatment to wean me off 40 years of drinking and drugging and thinking my liver was a muscle, which I managed to turn into a well-sculpted specimen that many aficionados of total terminal inebriation could only dream of and which pataphysicians strive for.
It took me nearly three years to even get approved for detox after I decided I needed it, because I only seemed slightly unhealthy and was a productive member of the NOMF™, rarely missing work even after having spent the previous evening consuming a fifth of vodka, a pint of rum, some brandy, a couple of six packs of amber to dark microbrew, and the occasional opiate, so I didn't have a problem, according to my insurance company. They would only cover a wellness program run by some bunch of religious mugwumps.
I was finally referred to a treatment program in 1995 because my blood pressure was 195/112 if I went two hours without some maintenance, but when I showed up after having finished a pint and popping a couple of Vicodin, I was turned away and sent to some halfwitted Christian AA group comprised of the same kinds of assholes currently holding weapons outside speeches by our Nigra in Chief.
I then tried to sweat it out through weeks of puking, but after another negative response from our wonderful health care system, I thought I'd just break on through to the other side and doubled the intake, hoping to get to 911 criticality where some fucking asshole would finally understand I was physically addicted and needed some help.
It didn't work. Nothing ever works. That's what so great about this country. If it doesn't involve killing, maiming, torturing, slaughtering, occupying, and claiming the high ground, it ain't gonna work. So fuck you, motherfucker. What God wants, God gets. Both here and in the motherfucking country. Listen to Roger Waters you don't believe me, and you shouldn't believe me. Belief is the key thing humans need to avoid. It poisons them. Seriously.
I struggle from time to time between being sane and being sober, and I prefer being sane, although it means I will probably not live as long as my sober countrymen and countrywomen, many of whom have been brain dead for at least a quarter of a century.
I, me-me, mine is the conservative mantra these days, although they won't admit it. Liberals are pussies who are not willing to kill to defend their positions. Liberals need to take some advice from General George Suckoff Patton who said repeatedly Your job is not to die for your country. Your job is to make the other guy die for his country. The fact is I couldn't give a shit whose country you are willing to die for, as long as I am not included in your numb-nutted acceptable loss calculations.
I sometimes dream that the NOMF will miraculously reverse a century of becoming stupider and more vicious and more worthy of extermination simply because it exists, but I suspect that is just the influence of drugs and alcohol, which I sought detox to cure me of.
I look at what the liberal media outlets like FOX and CNN deign to report as news and it only makes me redouble my commitment to bringing on the bomb.
One of my favorite detox epiphanies was when I realized I was sitting beside an angry ignorant asshole who was only there to avoid a DUI conviction for running over the neighbor dog after an argument. He didn't give a shit about anything, and after he went through the program he killed his neighbors for reporting him.
Sounds like a health care win-win situation worth preserving to me, doncha think? Assholes.
It made me realize that just because the murderous fuck you are recovering with is getting sober doesn't mean that he isn't still a murderous asshole. Take the former First Idiot George Goober Bush. When is somebody going to detain that malignant motherfucker and use some enhanced interrogation techniques on his non-governmental ass to find out what the fuck he didn't know and when the fuck he didn't know it.
Please.