Insignificant Dick Cheney's worst nightmares are about to be realized. As the Obama administration's task force struggles to find policies and procedures established by his predecessor to reverse, the Bush-Cheney legacy appears to be hinging more and more upon whether the World Court has the balls to indict hundreds of former elected and appointed officials to stand trial in Nuremberg for crimes against humanity and nature. This would would be a severe blow to the Repugnicant party, now that fewer than 15% of those polled will admit to harboring Repugnicant beliefs, perhaps out of fear of being hunted down and rounded up and tried with the party leaders.
With some rightwingnuts beginning to emerge from years of honeydewing under various Repugnicant and Demoblican leaders, it now appears that the EPA is seriously considering putting the GOP and its developmentally disabled supporters on the endangered species list, making party members eligible for a variety of government hand outs and stimulus packages it only has to bend over and spread them to accept. Some potential recipients of this aid are balking on reports that they would be forced to pay for any lubricants to make the insertion of more capital less painful.
After decades of dishing it out, it remains to be seen whether the dwindling numbers of party faithful are willing to take it up the poop chute dry to keep the leadership in the lives of opulence to which they have become accustomed. "I ain't had a goldarn flu shot in 20 years cause of not affording it," said Luther Big Trent Lott of Todd Suck Hollow, N.C., "and I lost two boys and a girl fighting for these sons of bitches promised they'd keep the niggers in line, if not hanging from the trees, and now we got one in the White House. My pappy and his people been twitching in they graves so bad, we got scientists down here looking for pulsating panty lines."
According to several unreliable sources, the Guantanamo Bay detention facility was used almost exclusively by former Depends Secretary Ronald McRumsfeld as a theme park where he and other erectile dysfunctional neocondi rice and beaners would watch trained operatives perform exploratory colonics on depraved extraordinarily renditioned evil ones for sexual gratification and investment tips.
Now it appears that hundreds of thousands of prisoners are missing or never arrived at Guantanamo and most of the 215 who currently reside there represent cases of mistaken identify, based on the inability of Bush administration to understand that many people might have the same name, such as Ahmed, Mahmoud, Hussein, Khalid, Ahab the Arab, and Ramalamadingdong.
Even worse, many of the really hardcore inmates at Gitmo have used their years of incarceration to become jailhouse lawyers, thereby making it unlikely that the U.S. will ever be able to convict them of crimes with which they are charged, except on technicalities.
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has retracted his confession of having planned and executed the 2001 attacks on symbols of American imperialism on September 11, and he has allegedly ordered his four henchmen to invoke their fifth amendment rights against self-incrimination when they stand trial in New York early next year on charges that they were not paid by the United States government to conduct terrorists activites within the territorial boundaries of the United States and Walmart.
Despite former administration arguments that there are known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns to be considered before deciding whether the Bush administration was run by a bunch of ignorant scumbags, recent court cases have decided that Rumsfeldian arguments are pure hose exhaust.
"There is absolutely no reason for this court to presume that the facts contained in the government's exhibits are accurate," District Judge Gladys Knight-Kessler wrote in ordering the release of Alla Ali Bin Ali Ahmed and his forty knights. The youths were pre-adolescents when they were first brought to the Guantanamo unit for deep and menaingful interrogation by Repugnicant party contributors.
"Much of the so-called factual material contained in those exhibits is hotly contested for a host of different reasons ranging from the fact that it contains second- and third-hand hearsay to allegations that it was obtained by torture to the fact that no statement purports to be a verbatim account of what was said," Knight-Kessler said.
"Some of the tapes appear to be nothing more than the screams of young men being butt-fucked by people who didn't happen to be Catholic priests," Knight-Kessler said, "as if that would have made these interrogation methods OK."
Other detainees who have been released in recent months have joined terrorist groups to fight against the U.S., despite the fact that the U.S. did nothing to harm them beyond detention and interrogation, which was necessary to let us shop in confidence at our convenient malls. Everyone knows the U.S. does not torture.
It is particularly disturbing to many screaming me-me's opposed to health care reform and being ruled by a nigra that even judges appointed during the Bush administration have apparently turned into human rights activists by suggesting that charges brought under the Patriot Act have lacked evidence.
"It makes you wonder, you know," said Levon Goodman of Idiotville, Oregon, "whether everbody in gubmint gets infecked with that liberal disease. Could be."