While Red Sonya Sotomayor appears to have squashed the nuts off the pasty white neocondi rice and beaner survivors in Congress with her rousing rendition of Ebony and Ivory at yesterday’s hearings, she may have misunderestimated the power of all the little Eichmanns who form the backbone of the NOMF™ as she made her case to become the first extra from West Side Story to serve on the highest court in the land, according to recent random drug tests conducted by the Government Accountablity Office.
The former Pinkglo Gloves welterweight from The Bronx bobbed and weaved, playing rope a dope with the Senate Judiciary Committee as she presented her the theory of ethical relativity during most of Tuesday's testimony, toying with the flatfooted honkeys, using broad latinate hand gestures often associated with Italian mobsters and Hispanic street gangs.
Sotomayor sidestepped questions from Sen John Cornyn, Asshole-Texas, about her views on abortion rights by joking that she sometimes feels like “performing extreme late-term abortions on dimwitted dickweeds like you by pinching your pendejo heads off with my fat hot little fingers,” eliciting titters and tweets among her reverse racist twit supporters who packed the gallery and threatened the besieged Republican patriots who were forced to leave their second amendment rights at the door, some of them wetting their trousers with their insignificant penises, despite wearing several layers of Depends undergarments.
Red Sonya, 55, hopes to become the first non-white woman to eat chili rellenos with refried beans and sour cream on the bench at the Supreme Court, and she has promised not to suppress her farts afterwards. Even endangered Republicans admit they have no way of stopping her confirmation, unless she blows a giraffe during testimony, a possibility that many now consider slim.
Here at the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient, Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat, many staff members and those they abuse expressed concerns about the honesty of the greaser judge's when she refused to admit that she was only telling the truth when she pointed out that a wise latina woman would probably have a better idea of the problems of minority women than a fat stupid old white man who cheats on his wife and lies about it or looks for strange cock to suck in an airport restroom.
Under don't ask don't tell style questioning from Sen. Jeff Sessions (Rump-ranger, Alabama), Sotomayor said that if she had been born an ignorant cracker and raised by white trash in the Deep South she would probably have considered herself "more qualified to empathize with morally corrupt people like you than some uppity spic bitch from New York, with all due respect, Senator."
“Life experiences have to influence you,” Sotomayor smiled. “We’re not robots when we hear evidence who don’t have feelings…We have to examine those influences and set them aside. That’s all I was saying.”
Sessions, the top Republican on the Judiciary Committee — showing how far the Republicrat party has fallen since former First Idiot Goober Fubar Bush stood on the deck of the aircraft carrier Richard M. Nixon beneath a banner that said MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner on May Day 2003, pointed to his codpiece, and recited the pledge of allegiance — attempted to rescue some crushed pulp of his sterile family jewels from virtual castration by the demonic beaner bitch by stating “I’m very concerned that what you’re saying today is inconsistent” with earlier statements about her prejudices.
Sotomayor just laughed and responded, "So tell me, Jeffy-poo. Does your family know you're a screaming faggot?" which evoked the bigggest laugh of the day during the televised hearings that have been a surprise ratings bonanza for C-Span.
The best exchange, however, came when Sen. Tom Coburn (Republicrap, Oklahoma) demonstrated the kind of unbiased anti-racist behavior that stupid white men who own and run the country have been known for since the days when the NOMF was hunting down and rounding up red, yellow, brown, black, and people of various other colors to decorate trees as part of America's ongoing beautification efforts that inspired former first lady Lynda Bird Johnson to marry a guy who carried his beagles around by the ears.
Showing how hip he and his moderate Okies are to Puerto Rican culture, Coburn cracked a little joke of his own during questioning, invoking Cuban band leader Ricky Riccardo of the old I Love Lucy show, by telling Sotomayor that "You'll have a lot of 'splainin' to do," further demonstrating his sensitivity and professionalism by not reading the next joke in his prepared comments that came from Amos and Andy.
Meanwhile, robots, cyborgs, and virtual people vowed to press their opposition to Biraq's nominee, arguing that she lacks the basic humanity needed to interpret the U.S. Constitution, which guarantees equal rights to all Americans, regardless of circuitry.