MISDIRECTION AT WORK TO PRESERVE THE RIGHTS AND WEALTH OF FREED SLAVE OWNERS BECAUSE THAT'S THE AMERICAN WAY!
P.T. Barnum wasn't the only opportunistic realist not to misunderestimate the lack of intelligence of the average not-so-hard-and-even-less-capable-working American in amassing his fortune while getting around the Emancipation Proclamation. Ronald Reagan made a career out of One Minute Wishing and succeeded so completely in having the proudly undereducated and overly faithful morons with the critical reasoning abilities of an oxygen starved sardine in a Redondo Beach marina who dutifully registered to vote that many over-achieving tea-baggers even now dream of the day when the old rummy's visage will replace Lincoln's on Mt. Rushmore.
Admit it. It's your one minute dream as well? It's OK. When the revolution finally comes, we'll carpet bomb you, so it won't hurt for long.
Story after story in the liberal media for the past few weeks has provided anecdotal evidence from typical citizens of the nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™) who are thoroughly pissed that union workers are better off than they are. It doesn't occur to them that their lack of success in achieving even European standards of living might be the result of buying into the Reagan line of trickle-down economics being a kind of Morning in America, instead of realizing it wasn't even a play of Mourning in America, but actually the Cornholing of America.
As Ima Dutchpack told one of our pain in the ace reporters yesterday: “I don't see where a federal or government or other union worker should get paid any more than anyone else who does a job and does it well, like me. I only get $7.25 an hour with no benefits, and I work hard at two jobs that even a illegal Mexican don't want, because I can't read or write." Ms. Dutchpack declined to reveal the nature of her current employment, although it appeared to our senses that it involved removal of excrement using only her appendages and teeth.
Our withered heart goes out to her. Not even Obamacare can cure her.
Apparently now, more than ever, the wealthiest scumbuckets, the amoral creeps they pay to manage the gene pool of defective and blessedly compliant workers, the sly solomons who adjudicate the spoils for the owners, and the entertainment sector citing its First Amendment right to distort reality, the one minute wishes of old rummy Ronald Reagan have finally unleashed its beatific bladder on an eager and obsequious public who opposes abortion on the moral ground that we need to keep producing potential targets to keep our Second Amendment skills sharp.
Why aren’t ordinary people storming the halls of government and stripping lawmakers, law interpreters, law obfuscators, law enforcers, and other vested interests in our prison-industrial complex of their obscene salaries and benefits? Because Americans are stupid and cowardly, the demon spawn of a system who killed off and crippled the heroes of its imaginary Greatest Generation and decided the crap that was left must be fought over by overweight whiners, emotional cripples, the spiritually vapid, and intellectual midgets. Have I forgotten you, asshole?
I’m tired of imagining the infantile sniggering in America’s newsroom — print, broadcast, or Web — as non-talent hacks — from writers to readers — not to mention all the fucktards Charlie Sheen has been railing against — refer to pension envy and feel the need to add no pun intended, as if anyone was interested in their twisted insecurities or their insignificant penises.
I used to blog about my own insignificant penis and had thousands of followers. You know who you are, Today.com and Newt Gingrich. And Antonin Scalia.
So here we are the second decade into a boring new century of trickle-down democracy. It's like we finally have found a way to provide a little bit of that living in a tenement dream to even the most illiterate and inept teabagger. God! I love this country!
Why would I ever want to leave it?
Of course that stain on your back wasn't caused by rain. It's what you asked for.